Refer back to older post

Today, I feel the same as the post: "On the outside looking in." This seems to be my theme lately.

What do donkeys do in Middle TN?

So, I have the privilege of working with alcoholics and addicts and I often get to take them to an AA meeting. Picture this: Me, a 18 passenger van and a van full of wonderful recovering addicts in rehab! It is so fun! We are not allowed to listen to the radio so we must entertain ourselves and I have to say this is when you have to think fast so we do not get on the topic," When I was high......"
So, we pass this empty pasture and there are always a couple of donkeys hanging out. I asked the ladies what do donkey's do here in middle TN. We spent the drive thinking of many things a donkey could possible do in this day in age and in the middle of Nashville. It is fun to make them laugh. They spend most days crying and a good laugh can heal a hurting heart. I love these women! They inspire me continue to move forward on the days I can't stop crying. They come in all shapes, colors, and age but their desire to want something better is the same.
When we returned back to rehab I googled " What do donkeys do?" The results were that they are great companions and they protect sheep. I thought since maybe I can' t get a date, I should look into getting a donkey. I could be the first in East Nashville to have one. I could even write a song about it. ( more to come ) Today, I feel like a squirrel and that is OK!
P.S. This blog does not have to make sense.

Obedience

When I was a kid I always resisted authority. Does every kid resist authority? I don't remember having a lot of rules except that we had to clean the house before mom got home from work. I made the rules growing up and as a result I did not like those who were put in authority. Either I deeply wanted their approval and when I did not get it, I would raise my fist to the rules. Because I continued to rebel and not obey. I would cause havoc and discourse for myself and all involved.
When I became a christian Christian God broke through to my rebellious heart and gave me a new heart. As a follower of Jesus you want to obey because it brings about a freedom that you can't explain. My heart at many times has turned hard and my disobedience brought about bondage but God is rich in his pursuit. It's like an arm wrestling match you have no chance to win. He always leads us to to obey because He can be trusted. Maybe as a kid I felt I had no place to trust. I want God to be pleased with me. I want him to say good and faithful servant but the fact is that on my best days I utterly fail at obedience to the Lord.
There is one who obeyed His whole life. He never rebelled against His Father because His Father was trustworthy. I can fall on Him the perfect child, son, friend......Jesus!
Jesus is the one I can look at and say because you obeyed, the Father loves me and is completely pleased with me. I can relax and trust. God's word says to repent and believe the gospel. He calls me to do this daily and the hardest part of all it is to believe. I see my sin and it is so gross and I am so ashamed when I see my heart and how it causes other people pain. My call to obedience is to believe what Jesus did is true and fall upon Him and receive the freedom I first experienced when I met him years ago.

The Heart is Deceitful Above All Else

I woke up this morning from a dream that mad my heart sad. The theme of my dream was rejection and when I woke all the feelings of the hope of yesterday were gone. How do I enter today know that I am always wanted by God? It is the tention